Planning Your End-of-Life Care: Conversations to Have and Wishes to Share

Planning ahead for your end-of-life care isn’t about dwelling on death—it’s about taking charge of your future, easing the burden on loved ones, and ensuring your values and wishes are honoured.

At Twilight Veil Doula Care, we believe that thoughtful conversations and clear documentation are essential steps toward a compassionate, dignified journey at life’s end.

Why Plan Ahead?

• Empowers you: You decide what kind of medical interventions you want—or don’t want—if you can’t speak for yourself¹.

• Eases family stress: Clear instructions prevent confusion and conflict among loved ones during an emotional time².

• Improves quality of care: Care teams can tailor treatments to fit your values and goals¹.

Key Conversations to Have

1. With Your Healthcare Provider

   • Advance Directives: Ask your doctor about completing an advance directive (also known as a living will). This legal document specifies which medical treatments you would accept or refuse if you’re unable to communicate¹.

   • Physician Orders for Life‑Sustaining Treatment (POLST): In some provinces, a POLST form translates your wishes into actionable medical orders³.

2. With Your Family and Close Friends

   • Values and Priorities: Share what matters most to you—comfort, staying at home, length of life versus quality of life, spiritual or religious considerations.

   • Role of Decision‑Maker: Discuss who you trust to make medical or financial decisions if you become incapacitated (your “substitute decision‑maker” or “power of attorney”) and ensure they understand your wishes².

3. With Your Financial and Legal Advisors

   • Power of Attorney for Property: Appoint someone to manage your finances if you are unable.

   • Will and Estate Planning: Make sure your will is up to date, and any trusts or beneficiary designations reflect your current intentions.

4. With Your Spiritual or Community Support

   • Emotional and Spiritual Care: Talk about any rituals, prayers, or ceremonies you’d like, and who you would want to lead them.

   • Legacy Projects: If you wish to leave letters, recordings, or creative projects for loved ones, now is the time to plan.

Who Should You Share Your Wishes With?

Share your wishes with the following people:

• A Substitute Decision‑Maker (SDM) will make health decisions on your behalf if needed.
• Family and Close Friends offer emotional support and help carry out your plans.
• The Primary Healthcare Provider will translate your wishes into medical orders.
• Legal and Financial Advisors ensure your assets and legal affairs follow your plans.
• The Spiritual or Community Leaders, honour your emotional and spiritual needs.

Practical Tips for Effective Conversations

• Be Clear and Specific: Instead of saying “I don’t want to suffer,” specify which interventions you’d refuse (e.g., “I do not want to be on a ventilator for more than 48 hours if there’s no chance of recovery”).

• Use Simple Language: Avoid medical jargon. For example, say “tube feeding” instead of “enteral nutrition.”

• Document Everything: Verbal conversations are helpful, but written forms (advance directives, POAs, wills) are legally binding.

• Review Regularly: Life circumstances change—marital status, health conditions, or personal beliefs—so revisit your plans every couple of years or after major life events.

• Seek Professional Guidance: A death doula, palliative care social worker, or lawyer can provide support and ensure documents meet provincial requirements.

How Twilight Veil Doula Care Can Help

I will guide you and your family through every step—facilitating conversations, explaining forms, and offering emotional and practical support. 

References

Planning for your end‑of‑life care is one of the most loving gifts you can give yourself and those you care about. Start the conversation today.

Footnotes

1. Government of Canada. Advance Care Planning: A Guide for Canadians. Health Canada. https://www.canada.ca/advance-care-planning ↩ ↩² ↩³

2. Canadian Hospice Palliative Care Association. Talking About the End of Life: A Starter Kit. https://www.chpca.ca/talking-about-end-of-life ↩ ↩²

3. Hospice Palliative Care Ontario. POLST in Ontario: Guidance Document. https://www.hpco.ca/polst-guidance ↩